I told you that “surrender” is my word for the year, well I have a feeling you are going to see it frequently in my posts because God is definitely giving me opportunities to practice.
Recently, I talked about surrendering the things that weigh us down. In that context there was more of a negative connotation. Today I am reminded that we also have to surrender the good things.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4
In many seasons of my life I have clung to this verse. When I wanted to fall in love, but there was no young man in sight. When I wanted to have a baby, but it wasn’t happening in our time frame. Even when my sister was living far away for work and I just wanted her back home.
I can clearly remember the emotions that were tied to the waiting. I remember the countless prayers asking for those desires to be fulfilled. The waiting was hard. The days sometimes felt darker than usual. Sometimes I wondered if God was really going to give me those desires.
I also held on to the lyrics of “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller:
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
I wasn’t always bold and confident. But I held on to the idea that I was supposed to continue to serve God while I was waiting on Him. I think that is what the Psalmist means when he says, “take delight in the Lord.” Even through the waiting pursue God, get closer to Him, follow where He leads. Keep serving, keeping worshiping, keep running the race. Being in a season of waiting doesn’t put your life on hold. If we did that we would never grow…we would have stagnant lives.
If I wouldn’t have allowed God to mold me and grow me while I was waiting then I wouldn’t have been ready for what He had in store.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20
God’s plan for us isn’t the same as our plan for ourselves.
As we delight in the Lord, our desires should begin to change into something that pleases Him. (At least that is what I have learned through my seasons of waiting.) Looking back on the dreams He has fulfilled I am blown away by the “immeasurably more” that He has allowed.
So here I am again with a new desire, one that was planted in my head last night. I hope and pray it is one that God will fulfill.
If a dream or desire was a tangible thing I can imagine myself holding this one out in front of me to show my Heavenly Father….
“Please, please, please?” I beg. “Can I have this one?” Looking up at him, I hold my breath in anticipation.
Smiling, he kneels in front of me to take a good look, “This is a beautiful dream. I can see why you like it.”
My heart begins to beat faster as I wait for him to say I can have it.
He cups my chin in his strong yet gentle hand, “Remember I have a wonderful plan for you, my daughter. Something far more than you can imagine. Even more than this,” He reassures me, pointing to my dream.
Blinking back tears, I try to hide my disappointment.
I look down and sigh. I stroke my dream and toy with the idea of holding on to it as tight as I can, but then I remember I have experienced this before. With some hesitation, I loosen my grip and hold out my dream palms up. “Take it,” I whisper. “I trust you.”
As he lifts my dream from my hands a great peace settles over me as though the softest blanket has been placed around my shoulders. “I trust you,” I say again. This time with more confidence.
Written February 17, 2020